i miss octave

taken at Peiyi Exc 2007. my favourite octave photo does not have peiwen inside =( as well as pj, se, jane, th, hh...

I am missing days in NJ...ALOT...

I also miss the Golden Rooster eating place in Coronation plaza - no -- i forgot, according to Guohui and I, should be "Laughing Rooster" instead. Haha forgot why we came up with that... people do alot of funny things during those school-uniform days XD Sometimes when I pass by coro on 151 I really felt like getting down for lunch at "Laughing Rooster" but then I have never done it cos I know it'll feel so different having a meal there without the same group of people around but alone.

I miss Octave. :\

4th in level!

I am finally done with my Cell Biology test and back here at my blog to pen down something that happened a few days back.

I must say I am feeling really happy, and I've been feeling like that since 3 days back. And I just can't miss this chance to pen it down in this online diary. I once mentioned about this girl I taught when I did my stint at the Jurong East tuition centre early this year - that was under the archived post 'A wait worthwhile" on 2nd August 2009.

Three days ago, that girl sent me an sms while I was mugging for my test. This was what she wrote:

"Hey.i got back my report card yesterday..well.I did fine..got de 4th in whole level..but still did not manage 2 go express..70% den can go 2 express..but onli got 68.7%..sigh..can't say i did my best cuz i noe i can do better but jux feel disappointed cuz i felt dat i let u down..reli sori bout dat.."

MAN. I was so overjoyed after reading that sms, how could I feel any tinge of disappointment? It really isn't easy to attain 4th in the level and actually I never expected her to crossover to the express stream. I just believed that she would achieve as much as others one day in the future no matter how long it's going to take her. And yet she tells me she's disappointed with her results. That made me even happier cos I could feel that she isn't satisfied with just 68.7% and she actually expects more from herself. I recalled the period of time where I just met her, where I just started teaching them, she doesn't seem to even care about anything that goes on in class/school. Her achievement today is really a milestone. =)

The best thing you can do for the whole world, is actually to make the most of yourself.

I am really happy, AHH... and I am convinced that I have found the feeling I have long been searching for. The feeling of seeing others grow, and nurture - is a feeling beyond what fanciful literature can express.

sad

I have grown to realise that this is part of growing up. :( and i've grown more afraid of you than ever. :\

That made a difference.

Yesterday was 16 October, my papa's 67th birthday :D and also yiling's 20th birthday :D

Just 2 days back on Thursday afternoon I was invited by Darren to speak at SRJC. Darren was invited by one of the teachers in SRJC who also happens to be a toastmaster. We were there to actually speak to the J1 cohort about Project Work oral presentation skills. and I thought it was going to be really dry and boring... turns out it was so much fun and laughter and the students were really a group of receptive audience.

It was only on Wednesday night where I met Darren again at Hougang Toastmasters after years of not catching up since we left Xinmin. Somehow, seeing how much he has achieved today not only makes me feel exceptionally proud of him but also allowed me to experience the joy of seeing others grow. I guess this is one thing I will continue to look forward to in my profession.

5 years ago, we were all just typical Xinmin students (so called neighbourhood school students), without anything on the portfolio, no achievements no voluntary work.. life then only revolved around studies, and the many ccas we take part in , one of which is Debate. And in that year we were both at SRJC for a North zone tournament which got us our championships. Following that I lost touch of debate because of the turning point that made me lose all my stage confidence. And Darren continued his quest in debate as well as in public speaking.

Upon graduation, we went separate ways. Him to HwaChong and me to NJ. Although our schools are just opposite of each other, we never had a chance to bump into each other. All of a sudden recently I realised Darren also became a toastmaster, and he joined in February this year too. This day, we are both reunited at SRJC 5 years later, not for tournament this time as students, but there as guest speakers. (too bad no full reunion as the other person in our team is now in cambridge)

Darren's learning curve is a really steep one and I really look up to him on that. I am so proud of Saili and am especially proud of him. He is really making full use of his time in Army now (when he still doesn't need to juggle schwork and exams) ... to improve himself. Within 7 months in Toastmasters, I have just done my Competent Communicator Project 4, yet Darren has completed the CC manual, + 5 or 6 manuals from the Advanced Communicator Series, + took part in various contests even up to district level (meaning going overseas to compete against hongkong cambodia etc..) + took up office as the President of Punggol CC Toastmasters Club + juggling 5 tuition kids (of which 2 are in the SRJC cohort we spoke to) + giving training to institutions like what we have just done on Thursday.

And beyond all these, he is also planning to start his own enterprise - a public speaking training company, and all these will continue even after he starts school next August to pursue a double degree in Law and Business at NUS.

I can't help but feel really happy for Darren... so much impressed by how much he has gone out to achieve in life when we once started at the same level.

Sometimes when things get tough in school and when I start to feel like I really have to sit down and put in a little bit more time into my schoolwork, I will be reminded of people like Darren as well as others who were from Xinmin and NJC. These two schools where I meet many like-minded friends who don't just want to do well academically in life, but have many others goals and noble aspirations to help others. And so it didn't ever mattered to these people when they are drowned in schoolwork and tests and labreports etc. They might be complaining away, but deep down inside they know exactly what they are doing, and they are happy with things this way. My bestie is another example - medical school doesn't stop her from participating in the overseas aid trips and other activities alike.

All these people add lasting value to the lives of others - including mine! They never fail to make me feel much better about all that I am doing, because they show me by example, that the time sacrificed is worth it.

Just on thursday when I left SRJC after my second round of motivational speech, an indian girl who was sitting in the audience stopped me at the gate. "Thanks Diana!" I turned back, wondering if she was talking to me, cos it's impossible to recognise any of them when you just spoke to 800 of them and they all look the same in sr uniform. "Thanks for inspiring me." "welcome, my pleasure." :D and as I went home I told my mum about it. I felt awesome, it feels so great to know that you've managed to make a difference to someone. Though I guess she might never realise, that what she said made an even greater difference to me.

Dr Henry Lee

Yesterday was Friday, and as usual Daryl and I had Forensic Science Lecture at night. Forensic Science lectures are always full-house even though it's the only lecture held at night from 7 to 10pm.

Last night, we had Dr Henry Lee with us, the world famous number 1 forensic scientist. He came in with a whole gorup of people, and even police officers from CID came to crash our lectures just to sit in and hear him speak. Prof Stella Tan then told us that he actually rejected an invitation by the China government to attend a commissioner ceremony, just to come to Singapore to give us this 3 hour lecture. Oh and he's paid 10,000 USD for each hour by NUS omg! Bidding so much for this module is really worth it, with a big-shot guest lecturer almost every single week.

And so when he entered the lecture theatre from the front, the applause from 400 of us was almost like a standing ovation.

Then, just minutes into the lecture proper, I realised I was sitting in a lecture by such a great speaker and inspirational figure. Every few minutes he would say something that tickles all of us and sends laughter across the whole LT. He's so full of humour, so eloquent, so convincing and most importantly so inspirational.

Dr Henry Lee was born in China, and he grew up in a family of 14... 13 siblings including himself + his mother who single-handedly raised up the 13 kids as his father died when he was 4. His grades in high school weren't great but later in his life when he did his PhD in forensics, he completed the PhD in 1 year! And in this 50 years of experience in the forensic science field he has been invited by more than 40 countries around the world to crack countless homicide cases.

Indeed, There is no upper limit to what individuals are capable of doing with their mind. There is no age limit that bars them from the beginning. There is no obstacle that cannot be overcome if they persist and believe.

So... mm and nn, press on! for a levels and medical school respectively.


and HAPPY MID-AUTUMN everyone! :)

PS: here's a tip from a friend - u can buy mooncakes tomorrow because some shops with alot of leftover mooncakes will sell them at much lower prices to clear them as the occasion is over.

Mid-terms

It's mid-term break and mid-term break is usually equivalent to no-break. I have got two mid-terms next tuesday and wednesday and of which one module called Cell Biology is crazily heavy in content. It is really more like an 8 modular credits module than a 4 modular credits one. =\

It's crazy to know the many activities happening in just one cell oh my god. And this reminds me of one of the table topics I heard at our regular toastmaster chapter meetings "What can you do in 1 second." ....that guy who gave the impromptu speech said the only think we could do is to think. Now I have a differing opinion to that. In one second don't know how many (cannot remember) mRNAs are exiting one single nuclear pore and one nucleus alone in one single cell has 3000 nuclear pores.

Anyway, I am a bad girl. I only realised today that I pon-ed 5 lsm2103 lectures in total, and therefore got 5 overdue webcast lectures to watch. It's already 2am on Saturday now and I'm only done with 2½ out of the 5. ):

Two great people

Princess Diana (1 July 1961 - 31 August 1997)

Princess Diana and her sons Prince William and Prince Harry

Starting in the mid- to late 1980s, the Princess of Wales became increasingly known for her support of numerous charities. This stemmed naturally from her role as Princess of Wales—she was expected to visit hospitals and other state agencies in the 20th century model of royal patronage. Diana, however, developed an interest in serious illnesses and health-related matters outside the purview of traditional royal involvement, including AIDS and leprosy. In addition, the Princess patronised charities and organisations working with the homeless, youth, drug addicts and the elderly. From 1989, she was President of Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children. Diana was most famously, in the last year of her life, the most visible supporter of the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, a campaign that went on to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997 after her death, which many believed was a posthumous tribute to the Princess.


Humanitarian work

In April 1987, the Princess of Wales was one of the first public figures to be photographed touching a person infected with HIV. She contributed to changing the public opinion of AIDS sufferers during the subsequent years, as her involvement with a variety of AIDS charities, not only in the United Kingdom but in North America, Africa and Asia as well, was a consistent public role she embraced.


Meeting Mother Teresa



Mother Teresa (26 August 1910 - 5 September 1997)

Mother Teresa (August 26, 1910 – September 5, 1997), born Agnesë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (real name), was an Albanian Roman Catholic nun with Indian citizenship who founded the Missionaries of Charity in Kolkata (Calcutta), India in 1950. For over 45 years she ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying, while guiding the Missionaries of Charity's expansion, first throughout India and then in other countries.

By the 1970s she was internationally famed as a humanitarian and advocate for the poor and helpless, due in part to a documentary, and book, Something Beautiful for God by Malcolm Muggeridge. She won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 and India's highest civilian honour, the Bharat Ratna, in 1980 for her humanitarian work. Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity continued to expand, and at the time of her death it was operating 610 missions in 123 countries, including hospices and homes for people with HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis, soup kitchens, children's and family counselling programs, orphanages, and schools.


Today, 31st August, is Princess Diana's death anniversary and Mother Teresa's on 5th September. Within a week in the same year 1997 we lost two great people - yet the world continues to gain so much...from the legacies they left behind.

Commitments

A few hours ago I took out my schoolwork and was ready to sit down and do a little bit of revision after a whole day sleep due to fever. And as I sat down I realise I couldn't concentrate at all...many things were running through my head.

So I did a mental list of the commitments in hand now:
1. Toastmasters
2. Myanmar YEP
3. Tuition for Natalin
4. Voluntary tutoring at Club Rainbow
5. Application for SEP
6. Schoolwork with 5 heavy modules

A week ago I was asked to be co-leader for the Myanmar YEP. I accepted the offer as being in Myanmar in December would mean I could fulfil a promise I made last year. I promised a girl by the name of su su htwe in Andrew Orphanage (yangon), that we'll keep in contact and I'll visit her again. Ever since coming back to Singapore I've held on to this promise and waiting to fulfil it come December 2009. And so happily I agreed to be the vice project director of this Myanmar team cos that would give me an opportunity to fulfil my little promise.

Just a few hours ago, I made an irresponsible decision to back out. Even though I might be seen as a person not to be trusted, I decided I should back out early. And as for the little promise, I will fulfil it, maybe on a 2day backpack trip to Myanmar, either this Christmas or Next June.

Looking at my list of commitments scares me, and it stresses me out too much because for each of the commitment I always want to do my best for it. If I can't do a good job I would rather not do it, which is why I terminated work at Jurong East. So out of the list I decided I should eliminate one of them. And of the list of things I decided to strike of 'Myanmar YEP'.

I want to have more time with my aged parents, which is top on my list.

Have you ever been in such a position, where you were forced to make a quick decision. Like in my case, "A - go YEP, pre-trip planning will be hectic, mum will be worried if i go, but i'll get to learn so much and grow." and "B - do without the trip, stay in Singapore and spend more time with my family." And so you say "Ok I will choose B and spend more time with your family." The question now is "Are you sure you will spend more time with your family if you were to stay in Singapore?"

Sometimes we encounter such situations, where we have to make a choice. Most of the time life is not so ideal as to let us embrace the best of both worlds. Under such circumstances, you actually learn which are your priorities in life, cos your ultimate decision will be in favor of the something top on your priority list. It is also under such circumstances where you would end up saying "Ok i will choose B and spend more time with my family." In actual fact, would you really spend more time with your family? Would it really make a difference in the amount of time/quality of time you spend with them?

This whole issue just boils down to one thing. When you make a choice to do something, sometimes (not all the time) we will tend to tie it to another something and make the decision and "EITHER-OR". And then just tell ourselves that time doesn't allow and hence I gotta make a choice. Actually, you are only making a choice, one choice, surrounding that something you are deciding whether to commit to. You tie it to another to make it either-or just so because you want to feel like you have a valid excuse to strike out one of them.

In fact, I was just making a decision of whether to lead the Myanmar team, or not to lead. I guess it really isn't an either myanmar-or my time with my parents thing. Cos ultimately if you really want to do something, all the tissues and cells in your body will be with you to pursue that something you want to do. And nothing can stop you, virtually nothing can as long as you have the unrelenting determination to persevere through. And I could have just chosen both. I would just squeeze out time for my family and make sure the little time I get to spend home are quality time.

I concluded that the part about spending more time with my parents could just be an excuse to tide over this dilemma, or to help me make a decision cos I'm introducing one more factor of consideration. In reality, the decision to back out or not is only an affair of Myanmar with no other of my priorities in the picture. I can only say, maybe in the first place I wasnt passionate enough about it. And backing out from it is no one's fault but mine alone.

With that I have decided, that I have since made the choice not to embark on the YEP, I will make sure it is not just an excuse to spend more quality time with my parents. I will really do it, bring them out even more often and make them happy...for their joy is mine and if they are happy, I will also be.

I will make sure my time in Singapore is well-spent, now that I don't have Myanmar to commit to. I will do my best for all the other commitments. And in whatever I do wherever I am, I will make sure my heart is also there.

TSPC 2009

It was the Teaching Scholarship Presentation Ceremony (TSPC) 2 days ago. There are a few people who made this event possible for me, two of which are of high importance - my guarantors! My 4th uncle and my cousin yongchuan gorgor. Uncle's birthday was on 18 July, the day of the signing of agreement, and yongchuan gorgor's birthday was 2 days ago on the day of TSPC! Too much of a coincidence. :D

Wow, of the about 400 teachers-to-be, almost 3 quarters are the teaching award holders! =X There left the 85 of us TS locals and 52 TS overseas. Most of the TS (L)s went for OBS and so are found in our OBS watches so here I am with some photos of my watch KURT. Don't blink, there's a photo-of-year down there :P

Shaoxun, Din, Jeysthur, Yuting, Kaixin, Pohshen :)

Jeysthur & Pohshen

No complete Kurt photo that day =(

Jasmine, Kaixin, Yuting, Peiyee, Yuru, Me, Pohshen

TA DA DA DA !~ PHOTO OF THE YEAR! CANDID SHOTS ROCK. XD I bet harmoc people will like this hahahaha...

the ballroom during rehearsal

the ballroom filled

Kaixin, Peiyee, Yuru

Din & Weishan

This was also candid =x uploaded to reduce abit of my negative Karma from laughing at Peiyee =l

Pohshen and me

KURT girls but short of elizabeth =(

In order: Yuting Yuru Peiyee Kaixin, Jemimah me Weishan Jasmine

CIPTO. NUS clique, hokkien buddy. =)

Rui An - Stars of SHINE (Contribution) awardee 2008. (:

Best Papa and Mummy awardees 20 consecutive years and counting :D

Everyone is to invite one teacher to the ceremony, so this is who I invited, a teacher more like a friend than a teacher... mrs song, my upper sec E & A math teacher in xinmin =)

And I just love them :D -

<3

A wait worthwhile?

Today is my last day at Edukids Tuition Centre.

I decided to leave the centre a few days ago because I want to focus more on my schoolwork now that i'm under the scholarship and have certain academic standards to reach. Okay, actually the main reason is not school I'll admit (it's some other reason). I quit the centre but I start to do voluntary tutoring at Club Rainbow Singapore...so it's like a trade one-for-one. And because of this I got into a big argument with my mum a few days back. =(

My mum's always not supportive of me doing voluntary work, ever since I started to visit MINDS 3 years ago. My mum always objects to any kind of community service I do. And this bugs me alot because other than music, voluntary work is the next thing I'm very passionate about. So I was feeling very sad. I tried to tell my mum nicely that I quit my job at Jurong and I started to do voluntary work again - this time not MINDS but at Club Rainbow. And immediately she raised her voice and started going on and on about how voluntary work can have deleterious effects on my academic performance and so on. And then the usual stuff she'll say is how stupid I am and that if I continue being so soft-hearted I'll get myself buried with burdens next time when I'm out to work.

But this is something I really love doing and it wouldn't affect my academic performance..in fact doing things you are passionate about makes life feel more purposeful and hence gets you more motivated in your studies doesn't it? Sigh, okay at least I managed to talk my mum over on that so things are settled now :). Actually mums and dads are all the same - they may really object to something you do but at the end of the day deep down inside their hearts they just want you to be happy. :D

So yes I think I shall share abit about my tuition centre experience. I've been there for 5 months and I must say I gained quite a lot in these short span of half an academic year. I think the biggest gain is the part on the students.

Okay I think the greatest impact comes from this one student. She's the only normal academic student and she's one of the most mischievious ones around. From the start, I never seen her differently - I felt she could achieve the same. But over time I realised that this girl sees herself very differently even though I don't. Although from first look you might think she's loud, outspoken and bold... but somehow I felt that she sees herself in a very negative light. So I tried to establish a slightly deeper connection with her. She added me on msn and we chatted once in a while (a very long while).

Gradually I realised that she has a brother also from the tuition centre, who's smart and doing well in school. Her parents dote on her brother but sees her as a failure (directly quoted from her) because she's in normal acad and can't study.

I don't know, but I really have faith in this girl. I see a spark in her and I believe that spark could ignite a bigger flame. On and off I tried to encourage her a bit. I told the class about myself, the difficult journey I went through in school during my younger times when I felt so different from everyone.

And here comes my gain - I see a change in her - a small one. She tried to put in some effort now, when she used to go around with the cant-be-bothered-by-anything attitude. She started to open up more and she's no longer in very bad mood in class.

And what was most surprising was - she made a promise to me today. She smsed me after tuition ended. What happened was today I got angry and I lectured them during class. Cos they gave me a wonderful farewell present by having everyone fail the test except 1 who passed but passed pathetically. For 5 months I have never lost my temper at them, regardless of the number of times I hear the F word, CB, and other stuff being thrown at me in class. I never lost my temper even though they have NEVER for once come back with COMPLETED homework. But I lost my temper today. And I told my them how honoured they should be to have me lose my temper.

I learned something about the teachers who've taught me in the past today. Teachers get angry only for one reason - because they care. They care enough to feel that extreme emotion.

So this was what she wrote: "Well..I noe u R kinda disappointed in me..so sorry..but i promise u i'll try my vry best in everythin i do juz bcuz u bother 2 care even though we r unrelated.. and of cuz i'll honour my promise made..k..but frankly,i hate de fact dat u r leavin us 4 good..but i'll work hard bcuz i dun wan pp hu hav faith in me 2 feel disappointed..in 5 years' time, i'll do my vry best to be the best i can be, i'll keep my promise..trust me.."

The reason why I'm typing her sms here is because I know my phone will die out one day and when I lose my contacts I don't wish to lose this proof of the promise she made. In 5 years' time I'll be looking back at this blog entry, hence this sms she sent me. And I hope by then, I would see a 19 (14 + 5) year old girl who's happy with her life and making the best out of it... and with that be relieved that the wait was indeed worthwhile.